Fifteen Seconds of Fame on Grammar Girl

I’ve recently become addicted to podcasts – subscribed multimedia files streamed from the web. A particular cast has grabbed and held my attention. Grammar Girl is both fun and educational; especially for someone with a left-brain word fetish such as me. Grammar Girl’s podcasts add many more obsessions for my inner-grammarian to obsess over.

Alas, I am not alone. Thinking that I was the only one who lost sleep over the affect vs. effect problem, I called in for Grammar Girls help. She published my call on her site and answered my question. I can finally sleep now.

She also commissioned a cartoon to illustrate the mnemonic that I asked for; way to go Grammar Girl. Although she misspelled my name, I think I’m in love.

Cartoon Courtesy of Grammar Girl at http://www.cafepress.com/grammargirl

Sign Posted in Coffee Shop…

Children left unattended will be given espresso and a free puppy.

Almost 100 Things about Me

1. I graduated from Lake Washington High School in 1985.
2. I can’t stand mushrooms. Never have liked them.
3. I just don’t understand all the fuss over Star Wars.
4. My skin is ruddy and I tan very easily.
5. When I was young, I cut my bangs when my hair was wet. It was a disaster.
6. Yellow is my favorite color
7. I hate shaving. Shaving sucks. It’s scary, and I wish I didn’t feel the need to do it.
8. I do not suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but I have tendancies.
9. I do suffer (and so do those around me) from a Left Brained Word Fetish.
10. Approval is very important to me.
11. I’ve taken Trombone lessons and voice lessons
12. One of my OCD tendencies is making lists. Sometimes I add things to my lists that I’ve already done just to check them off.
13. I use some shareware without paying for it, and have looked up serial numbers online to gain full access.
14. I attended Boy Scout Camp several consecutive summers when I was young.
15. I am an Eagle Scout.
16. I like sex. Oh yes.
17. I used to bowl in a league.
18. I’ve been to Culinary Arts School, but I hated cooking professionally
19. My first real job was feeding baseballs into pitching machines.
20. Though I’ve never been arrested, I’ve done stuff for which I should have been. I wasn’t planning to run for public office anyway.
21. There are so many things I’d rather do when I have to Shower. Showering is such a waste of time.
22. I hate being hot. I prefer winter to summer.
23. I don’t understand the show Everybody Loves Raymond.
24. When brushing my teeth, I use very hot water. It seems cleaner.
25. I paint my toenails blue, but never my fingernails.
26. I’m always hot, even when other people are cold.
27. I’m not an organized sports fan.
28. I have almost 20k in student loans
29. Some of my friends, especially my friends who don’t live close by, don’t call or email me as much as I call or email them. I used to resent it. Now I have come to appreciate my role as a nurturer of friendships. I think being an only child makes me place more value on friendships.
30. I once owned a 9mm Taurus handgun. I gave it away after I realized there was nearly nothing worth taking another life over.
31. I have no sense of direction whatsoever. (for irony, see #15)
32. I wish I enjoyed exercise.
33. I like woodsy, herbal, floral, and spicy fragrances more than fruity ones.
34. People say my eyes are my best feature
35. I like reading theory.
36. I’m a huge procrastinator.
37. love to sing
38. When I hear a song I like, I can listen to it over and over without tiring of it. I will usually sing along if no one else is around.
39. When I was a kid, I loved to climb trees, move out to the edge of a branch and let myself fall out of the tree.
40. I would like to write a book someday.
41. I have a tattoo
42. I am an electronics freak.
43. I buy a lot of cheap electronics crap on ebay, I am almost always disappointed. Now all the electronics are sitting in a drawer in my office.
44. I like the smell of gasoline.
45. I didn’t go to Disneyland until I was an adult. It truly is the most magical place on earth.
46. I liked to build a fort out of the couch as a kid
47. Sometimes I still imagine I’m in a spaceship as I try to go to sleep
48. I like to wake up early in the morning.
49. Mom still lives in the same house we moved into when I was 5.
50. I love dramatic, summer thunderstorms. Northwest thunderstorms are anticlimactic, and dull.
51. I don’t like sugar sweetened drinks
52. I was a tenor in my high school choir, but I wanted to be a bass.
53. I’ve sung the tenor solos in the Messiah… I haven’t sung since.
54. I scored 100% on my written test to get my driver’s license. I almost failed the driving test. It was parallel parking on a hill that nearly flunked me.
55. Today, I am so good at parallel parking it scares people.
56. Stopping on a steep hill with an automatic transmission freaks me out. Stopping on a steep hill with a manual transmission REALLY freaks me out.
57. I can get along with almost anyone. I’m not sure if almost anyone can get along with me.
58. I leave both the toilet seat and the cover down.
59. My blood type is O positive.
60. I tend to be a jack-of-all-trades, master of none.
61. I lived in Seattle, but I’m not a big fan of seafood.
62. I used to sing in a barber shop quartet. It’s my favorite type of singing.
63. Sometimes I think I can do anything, given proper instructions
64. When someone would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said an animal scientist. I don’t think I really knew what I wanted to do, but having an answer kept the adults happy.
65. I’ve always been able to interact easily with people older than myself.
66. I love talking about relationships and human interaction.
67. Sometimes I can be arrogant.
68. I had a fascination with briefcases, until I finally got one and realized they weren’t all that exciting.
69. I prefer the toilet paper to roll off the top
70. I like to make people laugh.
71. Excessive use of punctuation (especially exclamation marks) bugs me.
72. When I’m tasked with something repetitive or monotonous I find the most efficient way to complete it, often testing different strategies to speed up the process. This usually takes longer than just completing the tasks.
73. I had my middle and last names legally changed in 1984
74. As far back as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a scientist of some sort. I can’t tolerate the math though.
75. I like math, I’m just not good at it.
76. I don’t have a good ear for lyrics
77. I am allergic to chololate. That’s my only allergy.
78. The sound of someone brushing their teeth really annoys me.
79. I have many watches, and feel lost if I leave the house without one. Generally, there is a clock within my eyesight.
80. For the longest time I couldn’t understand why anyone would waste their money on a Mac. Now… the next computer I buy will be.
81. I have early onset of middle-aged grumpiness; it’s not difficult to piss me off. Wait… I am middle aged.
82. Fall is my favorite season.
83. My favorite movie is The Legend of 1900.
84. I don’t have a favorite book.
85. I like sharing food with others.
86. It takes me ages to decide what I’m going to eat.
87. I don’t like sushi… it’s the seaweed.
88. I believe in multipolar world. The one where differences are recognized and appreciated.
89. I can be stubborn.
90. And too straight forward.
91. For me relations are fuzzy and multidimensional. That’s why it’s so interesting to find where the limits of technology-mediated ways to represent them. Or to move those limits.
92. I like flying. I would like to be a pilot.
93. I have a cat. His name is Wylie
94. I have liberal views on most issues.
95. I think “The Simpsons” is one of the best shows ever (particularly the early years).
96. I think corporations have grown too powerful… esp. Microsoft, Time Warner, and Wal-Mart.
97. I love jazz.
98. I’ve never smoked pot or taken any drug not prescribed by a doctor. Sometimes I feel I missed out.

Oh…. I was going to call you.

Not that I had an especially busy day planned, but I did have things to do. Come to think of it, when I flushed the toilet it was unusually quiet. I moved over to this sink to wash my hands, lifted the faucet and nothing came out.

NO WATER… My eye began to twitch.

Old Crow has done this to us before. Once, she fiddled with the hot water heater and decided to turn the water temperature down to save some cash. After one shower I confronted her and she fixed it.

I huffed over to the phone and called Old Crow.

*ring*

E2:”[Old Crow]… its eSquared…”

Silence

E2:”… from downstairs.”

OC: “Oowwh… I was gunna call you. George (next door neighbor who does whatever OC asks) is fixing the toilet. He needs to turn off the water for 10 minutes.”

E2: “Some notice would have been nice.”

OC: “Owkay… He’ll turn it back on in twenty minutes.”

Yes, I caught she just doubled the time. I just hung up.

I put my hat on, and went to run some errands.

When I came back (with grocery bags) Old Crow was standing in our dining room. I told her she could do laundry YESTERDAY. I’m still pissed about the water so I don’t say anything.

Eager to explain, OC starts: “I was down here earlier and heard you sleeping. I thought we would have the water turned on before you got up…”

I thought to myself: “Did I hear that right? She was down here listening to me sleep?

Untitled Old Crow One

I was sitting at my desk yesterday when Old Crow ambled up and stood in front of the window. She lifted her hand to shield her eyes, and pressed her face into the Glass. We are face-to-face, less than four feet apart, and seperated only by glass. The window is also cracked open about 3 inches.

Old Crow Yells, “CAN YOU HEAR ME?!”

“Yup.” I reply in a calm, yet irritated voice.

Old Crow continues to yell, “OH… DO YOU REMEMBER THE MAN WHO PAINTED THE FENCE?!”

E2: “Uh… nope?”

OC: “I HIRED HIM TO WASH THE HOUSE TOMORROW. MAKE SURE ALL YOUR WINDOWS ARE CLOSED…”

I lost her at “…wash the house tomorrow.”

Wash the House.

Pete the painter and his lackey have been here for three hours now. They just finished the area in front of this window.

Surely this is a prudent use of money; washing the house just before the rainy season.

Not that I blame Pete… If someone paid me (and a friend) to wash their house, I’d do it.