Last Night: Epilog

Subtitle: Feline Puberty

When we left the “Cat and Foot” saga, I ran for the couch and left Mrs. eSquared on her own with the cat. Yes, I admit it was cowardly, but running away is a perfectly viable defensive maneuver. It has worked well in the past.

So… back to the problem. The cat has taught himself a new trick; oddly enough, this trick has a name: Feline Masturbation. Yes, this has been confirmed by several dubious internet sources. Here’s one:

Masturbation is a difficult problem to deal with in cats. It is a normal behavior and it is probably pleasurable. This combination makes it hard to discourage. It is not really unusual for neutered cats to learn to masturbate and it may be possible for them to produce some fluid.

In a few cats, this can become (or possibly starts out as) an obsessive/compulsive disorder. If this is a really persistent problem rather than an occasional one, it would be a good idea to ask your vet if there is a behaviorist in your area who you can work with to help resolve the problem. In this case medications for obsessive/compulsive disorders may be helpful. As far as I know, these are the only cats in which medication is likely to help.

Mike Richards, DVM
http://www.vetinfo.com/cmale.html#Masturbation

The brat is about 3 years old now. I don’t know how old that is in cat years, but he sure acts like a teenager. Like any normal teenager, he’s experimenting. I can imagine what’s going on in his little kitty head…

“Sleep… sleep… where’s that lady with the crunchies… sleep… “
“Poop… sleep… hey! You’re not the lady with the crunchies! Sleep…”
“Sleep… what’s this… humm… mmm… oooh… that’s nice… That was fun… let’s do that again…”

(sigh) I miss those days… Good times.