On Looking Back…

Lately, little miss sprout is really coming into her personhood. She is developing likes, dislikes, and a little bit of sass to get her point across.

The thing that I enjoy the most is her sense of wonder. How she stares at an unfamiliar object and puzzles it out is amazing to watch.

Watching her be a kid reminds me of my own childhood, and what it felt like to be a kid. Certainly I don’t remember back to when I was ten months old, but I remember stuff further along. Stuff that I haven’t thought about in 30-35 years.

Things that made me laugh. You know, innocent, silly laughs, like Mad Magazine: Spy vs. Spy, the pictures that changed when you folded them, “the lighter side of…” and those little cartoons in the margins.

Other things like Bummers: “It’s a bummer when… ” I can’t remember any now, but they used to make me laugh.

The truth is… I can chase these memories of truly happy times as a kid, but I’ll never be able to describe them so you’ll understand.

Instead, chase your own. Reach way back and think if the joys of your own childhood. What did you think you could do better than anyone else? What make you laugh – every time. What silly things did you do?

The best part of all this? I get to experience these joys all over again with Little Miss Sprout. I’m so lucky… I can’t wait.

Keep Your Garbage to Yourself…

Tomorrow is garbage and recycling day.  As I was taking out our last minute trash, I noticed the neighbors on either side of us, and the neighbors across the street hadn’t put their cans on the curb.  Perhaps they are all early risers and want to do it then.

Somehow… I don’t think that’s it.  I’m sure they (like me) have noticed Old Crow going through their garbage. 

Yes… I am that petty.  Petty enough to come right in, and tell you about it.

Your Favorite Books…

Some time ago I asked some friends and colleagues for a short list (two or three) of their favorite books. Books that they enjoyed reading, and perhaps the books that changed their lives.

Both of my reasons were self-serving. After graduating, I depleted my own stack of to-be read books and I wanted to replenish it. The second reason was more ulterior. I wanted a small peek into these respected friends. Like asking about a favorite movie, song, or restaurant, but a tad more personal.

I appreciate and really enjoy everyone’s responses. I’ve listed them below. The asterisks note multiple responses. If you’re interested, I’ve bought many of the books, and added many more to my reserve lists at the library.

As always, feel free to comment, or add to the list.

• Abbott, Edwin A. – Flatland
• Allende, Isabel – The House of Spirits
• Chodron, Pema – The Places that Scare You
• Courtenay, Bryce – The Power of One
• Derrida, Jacques – Writing and Difference
• Enger, Leif – Peace Like a River*
• Flaubert, Gustave – Madame Bovary
• Fowles, John – The Magus
• García Márquez, Gabriel – 100 Years of Solitude*
• García Márquez, Gabriel – Love in the Time of Cholera*
• Gilbert, Elizabeth – Eat, Pray, Love
• Golden, Arthur – Memoirs of a Geisha*
• Gould,  Stephen Jay Full House: The Spread of Excellence from Plato to Darwin
• Irving, John – A Prayer for Owen Meany*
• King, Stephen – Bag of Bones
• King, Stephen – The Dark Tower Series
• King, Stephen – The Stand
• Kingsolver, Barbara – The Poisonwood Bible
• Lee, Harper – To Kill a Mockingbird*
• L’Engle, Madeleine – A Wrinkle in Time
• Lewis, Sinclair – Main Street
• Malamud, Bernard – The Natural
• Naylor, Gloria – Mama Day
• O’Connor, Flannery  – The Violent Bear it Away
• Pessoa, Fernando – The Book of Disquiet
• Rash, Ron – The Night the New Jesus Fell to Earth
• Rowling, J. K. – The Harry Potter Series*
• Roy, Arundhati – The Algebra of Infinite Justice
• Roy, Arundhati – The God of Small Things
• Saramago, Jose – The Death of Ricardo Reis
• Steinbeck, John – East of Eden
• Steinbeck, John – In Dubious Battle
• Steinbeck, John – Of Mice and Men*
• Steinbeck, John – To a God Unknown
• Steinbeck, John – Travels With Charlie
• Tolkien, J. R. R, – The Lord of the Rings Series*
• Walker, Rebecca – Black, White and Jewish
• Welty, Eudora – The Ponder Heart
• White, E.B. – Charlotte’s Web
• Wiesel, Elie – Night

 

What Makes You Think That Crap Is Ok?!?

Perhaps I need to manage my medication a little more closely, but I’m still quite irritated about something (that didn’t even involve me) that happened over four hours ago.

The fam and I were in the Starbucks drive-thru line waiting for a caffeine fix.  We were behind one of those lowered, black, window-tinted, punk mitsubishi cars.

He got his drink, pulled forward 5 feet (half of the distance to the GARBAGE CAN) and threw what looked like a half-full, melted, frapaccino against the wall!  It splashed on the wall, and the sidewalk, and then he drove away.

What the hell?!

I pulled up to the window, and made some comment to the drive-thru-starbucker.  She said he was mad because the can’t take garbage in the window (understandable).

In one of those ‘wouldn’t it have been great if…’ moments.  I thought (as I was considering this post) it would have been great if… I poured what was left of the coffee, chocolate, gooey mess all over his car while he was at the stop light.   Mrs. eSquared would’ve stopped me before I touched the door handle, I’m sure.

This is where I would write a two page diatribe on the implicit social contract, (Socrates, Smith, Locke) and then rant for another page on disrespectful, callow youth.

Maybe he needs to evaluate his medication dosage also.

What a Daddy Does… Part One

You may have asked yourself: “Self… I wonder what a stay-at-home dad does all day? Is it all naps, play-dates and pureed food”?

Well… Let me answer that question for you. First of all… Yes, the naps are quite a nice perk of the job. I don’t know about the play-dates; I’ve never been invited on one. Should I bring wine or flowers? As for the pureed food – all I know is I eat more than the sprout. The fruits are ok, though a little watery. Anything with meat (turkey or chicken) is disgusting.

Of course I can’t speak for all stay-at-home dads. I’ll tell you what I do.

When little sprout was new, I used to put her in the stroller and walk around Greenlake. It was summertime, and the little punkin was happy to be outside with stuff to look at. I was just happy that she was happy. The exercise and Greenlake in the summertime were just fringe benefits. Soon I was going around the lake three times a day.

With stops for the bottle, changing and other beanlit maintenance, it could take over 4 hours. Although I listened to several audio books, it got to be a little lonesome.

As pathetic as it sounds, I decided to pay for some company (not that kind!) with Stroller Strides.

Stroller Strides is a group of moms with little ones as new as 3-4 months to somewhere around three years. In a nutshell, the program is designed to help post-partum moms get back into shape. If you’re interested in their official blurb, or more information, click the link above.

The leader (Kelli) has been cool and excited for me to join from the start. I’m sure there have been other Stroller Dads, but not when I’ve been involved. Most of the moms have warmed up to having some dude around when they are working out; some are still a little aloof.

Although I have little use for Kegel exercises, the workouts are challenging, and the moms are fun to hang out with.

I’m also using all the collective mother-experience for my benefit. If I have a question, chances are that one of the moms has had the same problem and knows how to handle it.

I must say that we are a bit of an oddity around Greenlake. Quite often, some creepy dude will hang around and watch the workout. As the one with testicles, I’ve been drafted as the resident bouncer. However, I’m sure if push came to shove, these moms could bring a lot more ass-kickin-hurt on someone than I could.

Over the last five or six months that I’ve been with this group of extraordinary moms, there is a core group that come rain or shine, and really work hard. I have noticed dramatic changes in their bodies as a result of these workouts. They are thinner, stronger and have much more stamina. It’s really quite impressive.

I’m writing this here because I feel uncomfortable telling these moms, wives, girlfriends; women that they look good. I’m afraid it will come out creepy, “Hey… you look gooood.” Especially in their sweaty workout clothes, with baby barf on their shirt, and cheerios in their morning hair.

An Itch That Scratching Won't Help…

So I’m sitting here in the food court of the mall writing a post about Stroller Strides on my phone. [Mrs. E2 is tutoring Sprout on the finer aspects of Nordstrom; so I have some time on my hand and I’m getting a callous on my thumb.]

This guy walks across the court focusing on me. He walks right up to me, thrusts out his hand, and says, “Nice to meet you. Can I sit here”?  Then he tugs at the chair my feet are on. I shake his hand, and say, “Sure.” Now I’m wondering if I’m wearing a target, or a sign.

He starts scratching a lottery ticket, and asks, “How long are you going to be here”? My ears heard my mouth say, “I’ll be here for a while,” while I was thinking, “I was just leaving.”

I’ve been here for twenty minutes, and he has spent all but his last 8 dollars on these tickets. While he scratches them, one at a time, we’ve had some engaging conversation. We discussed the Jackson 5, and the band, Cake. I didn’t know there was a band named Cake. I like the other kind of cake.

He comes back to the table with another scratch card, telling me, “I don’t care, dude. I have 4 dollars… I don’t care dude.” I’ve tried to tell him to save his dough. If I gave him a buck, i know he’ll just scratch it. He says payday is Thursday.

Now he’s scratching his last dollar. I don’t want to watch.

I’m leaving. I hope it’s the big one.

Good luck Mike.

An Itch That Scratching Won’t Help…

So I’m sitting here in the food court of the mall writing a post about Stroller Strides on my phone. [Mrs. E2 is tutoring Sprout on the finer aspects of Nordstrom; so I have some time on my hand and I’m getting a callous on my thumb.]

This guy walks across the court focusing on me. He walks right up to me, thrusts out his hand, and says, “Nice to meet you. Can I sit here”?  Then he tugs at the chair my feet are on. I shake his hand, and say, “Sure.” Now I’m wondering if I’m wearing a target, or a sign.

He starts scratching a lottery ticket, and asks, “How long are you going to be here”? My ears heard my mouth say, “I’ll be here for a while,” while I was thinking, “I was just leaving.”

I’ve been here for twenty minutes, and he has spent all but his last 8 dollars on these tickets. While he scratches them, one at a time, we’ve had some engaging conversation. We discussed the Jackson 5, and the band, Cake. I didn’t know there was a band named Cake. I like the other kind of cake.

He comes back to the table with another scratch card, telling me, “I don’t care, dude. I have 4 dollars… I don’t care dude.” I’ve tried to tell him to save his dough. If I gave him a buck, i know he’ll just scratch it. He says payday is Thursday.

Now he’s scratching his last dollar. I don’t want to watch.

I’m leaving. I hope it’s the big one.

Good luck Mike.

Hey wait… isn't this supposed to be a daddy blog?

Ithought I’d preempt this semi-regular Old Crow diatribe with a long overdue baby post. It’s been quite some time, and there’s lots to tell you. So much, in fact, I’ll just bullet some of the highlights.  But first… the most important: little Bean Sprout is a happy and healthy baby girl.  No doubt you’ve seen the pictures I’ve posted.

I also thought that this would be a good time to start my “Almost 100 Things About Beanlit.” However, because her little life is just beginning, there’s no way I can come up with almost 100 things.  So… I thought I’d start with just 10 – in no particular order.

1. Unlike her parents, Beanlit is not a drinker (water and juice… sheesh).
2. As of this writing, she is not crawling.  Though she has all the parts to crawl – she just can’t get them coordinated in any one direction.  There’s no hurry, we haven’t baby-proofed yet.
3. Although she is sleeping much better, she is still not sleeping through the night.  Neither are we.
4. She considers her crib to be a sentence of exile with no parole.
5. She is amazingly beautiful.  Photos don’t do her justice – especially her eyes. 
6. One of her favorite games is “throw all my toys on the floor, and wait for daddy to pick them up.”
7. The only solid food (or once-was solid) she likes is Key Lime yogurt.
8. She loves people, and smiles at nearly everyone. 
   • Side note: when people don’t smile back, I wonder, “What kind of cold-hearted, miserable human being can resist that beautiful smile”?
9. She absolutely cannot stand her face cleaned. 
10. Beanlit was the first prize in the baby lottery, and Mrs. eSquared and I won.  No baby has ever been loved more.

Hey wait… isn’t this supposed to be a daddy blog?

Ithought I’d preempt this semi-regular Old Crow diatribe with a long overdue baby post. It’s been quite some time, and there’s lots to tell you. So much, in fact, I’ll just bullet some of the highlights.  But first… the most important: little Bean Sprout is a happy and healthy baby girl.  No doubt you’ve seen the pictures I’ve posted.

I also thought that this would be a good time to start my “Almost 100 Things About Beanlit.” However, because her little life is just beginning, there’s no way I can come up with almost 100 things.  So… I thought I’d start with just 10 – in no particular order.

1. Unlike her parents, Beanlit is not a drinker (water and juice… sheesh).
2. As of this writing, she is not crawling.  Though she has all the parts to crawl – she just can’t get them coordinated in any one direction.  There’s no hurry, we haven’t baby-proofed yet.
3. Although she is sleeping much better, she is still not sleeping through the night.  Neither are we.
4. She considers her crib to be a sentence of exile with no parole.
5. She is amazingly beautiful.  Photos don’t do her justice – especially her eyes. 
6. One of her favorite games is “throw all my toys on the floor, and wait for daddy to pick them up.”
7. The only solid food (or once-was solid) she likes is Key Lime yogurt.
8. She loves people, and smiles at nearly everyone. 
   • Side note: when people don’t smile back, I wonder, “What kind of cold-hearted, miserable human being can resist that beautiful smile”?
9. She absolutely cannot stand her face cleaned. 
10. Beanlit was the first prize in the baby lottery, and Mrs. eSquared and I won.  No baby has ever been loved more.

A Drip and a Dork…

Sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Old Crow called to ask me if she could do some of her laundry the following day. I said of course, and didn’t think any more about it… until I came home from working out.

I was astounded and angered to find she had everything that we had under the kitchen sink, scattered around the kitchen floor, with wet towels.

When words finally came to me, (that weren’t profane) I managed to say, “What happened”?

OC: [looking at me like it was obvious] “You have a leak.”

Me: “What part of your laundry is under our sink”?

OC: “Huh…? There’s a leak under the sink”

Me: “What were you doing under the sink in the first place”?

OC: “Oh… I don’t remember. I’m going to get son-in-law over here to see what’s wrong. But he won’t be able to get here until Sunday.

Me: [thinking she evaded the question] “That’s three days from now.”

Knowing Old Crow, her fierce cheapness, and her stupid compulsions – she would dicker with anyone stupid enough to take the job, and she wouldn’t let is use the sink in the mean time. So I said I’d look at it and figure out the problem.

I did. The faucet leaked

It looked easy. She buys the faucet, and I put it in. She doesn’t pay labor, and I don’t have to wait three days (and endure a parade of plumbers cracks) to use the sink.

First, OC bought the wrong faucet. It wouldn’t fit in the same hole. Luckily I caught the error, but didn’t see the omen.

Then, I turned off the water, disassembled the pipes from the drain and disposal, then disconnected the water pipes. I unscrewed all but one of the anchor bolts. I worked on that one for 20 minutes before I realized the mount had rusted out and the bolt was just spinning as I turned it.

Old Crow wasn’t home, and I didn’t have a hack saw to cut through the bolt. So I relied on a part of my personality that had brought me through countless situations similar to this one… brute-force and ignorance. By the way… I didn’t say it got me through those situations gracefully.

45 minutes, a pint of sweat, and a torrent of profanity later… I was able to expand the bolt hole enough to pull the head of the bolt through.

In my estimation, all I needed to do was get the old faucet out and my problems would be over. Nope.

Two larger problems remained. First, the original install was custom. The water supply pipes weren’t long enough to meet the ones supplied with the new faucet. And, the brute force and ignorance that got me out of the previous problem, bent the crap out of the sink where the faucet bolted to the sink… Oops.

I couldn’t install the new faucet, and I wrecked the sink. I kept telling myself, “Old Crow… You get what you pay for.” I did feel a little bad about the sink though.

Long story short…

It turns out the sink wad pretty rusted and needed to be replaced anyway. It is nearly as old as I am.

Two days later, Old Crow convinced one of her ‘gentlemen friends,’ a retired contractor, to install the new sink; while she watched every move. It took him 9 hours, and several trips to Home Depot. I wonder if she was paying him by the hour… Or if they had some other deal worked out (shutter).

Next: Protecting the Sink…